The Early Years: Hope Hoffman

Building capacity for making friends begins early. John and Yvette Hoffman, whose daughter has spina bifida, help Hope socialize in several ways. They make sure Hope is visible and accessible to new friends. They prepare answers for her to use when children ask about her leg braces (AFO's) which are "helpers" according to Hope. Finding common ground and developing friendships with other mothers in a playgroup or preschool sets the tone for openness. Yvette has found that, "If I, as Hope's mom, am approachable, she is too. I let Hope do the rest; I am merely the springboard."

The Hoffman's home is always open to Hope's peers. "I make sure that during play dates, a great time is had by all," said Yvette. "A little fun goes a long way, and pretty soon inclusion isn't even an issue. All we hear is 'When can I play with Hope?' We want Hope to experience all kinds of 'natural environments' where she can learn social skills with children her own age." John and Yvette feel that the local park's swings and sandbox, a neighbor's child and the nearby pond provide ample opportunities for Hope to learn how to make friends and interact socially, develop gross and fine motor skills, and build the skills that every child needs to grow up.

The Hoffmans had tried unsuccessfully in physical therapy to have Hope stand by herself for three seconds. But when Hope began washing her own "car" (after watching her dad wash his car), she balanced for a full eight seconds because she was interested in the activity.

"Children with special needs have every right to all community activities that are available to those without special needs," John said. "Like all kids, they don't have to be involved in every activity, but they have to have options open to them."

Today, Hope is fully included in grade school. Her spina bifida does require accommodations and other medical supports, however, she is just a typical kid.